Rethinking Rock Bottom
Understanding Your Choices as a High-Functioning Addict
“Rock bottom is the moment when we realize we are human, and it’s where we learn to rise again.”
Now, I know this part can be dull, so let’s zip through it. Wiktionary explains that ‘rock bottom’ means the absolute lowest state in one’s life. But think about it —while the definition is the same for everyone, the meaning is personal. Your rock bottom might not the same as mine.
Our ‘rock bottom’ is a unique process, shaped by our character, socio-cultural background—which often defines our morals—upbringing—which usually forms our values—and the diverse circumstances of our life. Consequently, what defines ‘rock bottom’ for one individual might be a mere stumble for another, making it a profoundly personal and uniquely subjective journey.
“Everyone’s rock bottom is unique,
but the pain it brings is universal. ”
There I was, in our Darling Point home, 2021 —maintaining the facade, blind to the storm ahead.
For high-functioning addicts like us, rock bottom initially reveals itself in subtle, intricate ways, sharply contrasting with the overt struggles of completely dysfunctional users. This is particularly dangerous, as our ability to sustain addiction undetected over time can lead to severe health complications, increased tolerance and dependence, and significant mental health problems.
Furthermore, the delayed recognition of the problem often makes seeking and receiving treatment much more challenging, ultimately intensifying the eventual collapse, leaving deeper and irreparable damage.
The Logic Behind Avoiding Your Rock Bottom
Recent findings show that it’s essential and possible to avoid rock bottom. Yet, it’s human nature to unconsciously gravitate toward that wall, especially when we’re riding high on success, using success unconsciously as a protective barrier. Seeking help while caught in the throes of addiction not only feels impossible but also doesn’t make any sense. Why would we seek help when our desire to use still burns and everything seems under control? If you’re reading this, it’s because you know deep down something is wrong, or you’re already embracing recovery.
If you’ve done some research already you might have already heard all of the above. But stick with me—what comes next will strike a chord with you.
If we recognize the chaos our addiction brings and decide to change, you’re already on the right path. However, don’t assume you can face this battle alone. Only a rare few manage to find sobriety while still trapped in their own deception. The complexity of our situation will only grow as we attempt to heal in isolation, a contradiction that cannot be sustained. This duality will not coexist. Our lies and fabrications will only grow. This is because attempting to recover alone often leads to self-deception and failure, which in turn, will escalate our drug use. Do you see where we’re going with this?
The path to a drug-free life requires complete surrender. But giving it up without hitting rock bottom initially feels like abandoning a sinking ship without knowing the storm is only going to get worse.
All I can tell you, is that whatever approach you take, if the desire for change comes from you heart and not from external pressures, continue fighting that internal battle. Your decision is already truly exceptional, and my admiration for you is immense. I know how easy it is to believe we can sidestep rock bottom.
Our skill in sustaining addiction undetected over time exacerbates the eventual fallout. We appear to have it all together, but beneath that facade, chaos is quietly simmering. This slow progression deeply affects our relationships, eroding trust and connection in ways that might be harder or impossible to repair. I knew this during active addiction, where my reckless decisions eventually dragged me down to my own rock bottom: losing my partner, facing incarceration, and watching everything I owned, every friend I had, and my entire reputation crumble to dust.
From producing Olympic broadcasts for the world to watch, to hoarding bikes on the streets with a trolley.
If this isn’t a striking example of how drugs can distort one’s priorities, I don’t know what is. All this, accomplished in just a year. Quite the career shift, wouldn’t you say?
Understanding this can help you recognise that while rock bottom is devastating, it’s not a destination you have to reach. You have the power to rise before you crash.
Truth is; the risk isn’t worth it. Surprisingly, even my dealer saw the danger and warned me. But I had to prove a point—I thought I was the exception. And chances are, you believe it too.
If that’s the case, just remember that in the shadows of our high-functioning lives, we hide our struggles, rationalising our behaviour until the inevitable fatal blow catches us and everyone around us off guard.
RESOURCES:
• “Alcoholics Anonymous: The Big Book” by Alcoholics Anonymous
• “In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction” by Gabor Maté.
• National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA): www.drugabuse.gov
• Narcotics Anonymous (NA): www.na.org
• SMART Recovery: www.smartrecovery.org
